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Feeling Low

 
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analytix



Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Posts: 34

PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:04 pm    Post subject: Feeling Low Reply with quote

Today I have finished my Level 3 at Eastminster United Church. Since the Level 1 I have danced with many TDS helpers; got dance tips and advices from them. Many of them became my friends. All of them were very kind, considerate, helpful and understanding. It’s not always easy to dance with a novice dancer. I really appreciate their patience and helpful attitude. My kudos to all TDS helpers.

Today in my last class at Eastminster United Church I danced with someone, I didn’t even know she was a helper until the class was over, who stopped me twice in the middle of the dance, made very harsh remark about my dance and at one point called another male helper and told him “hey show this guy how we dance”. I was totally dumb founded with her rudeness. I couldn’t believe that someone could be so rude to a fellow dancer, specially, when she was helping someone. After that I danced with all other dancers without any problem. But this small incidence ruined my whole evening and all the fun of finishing Level 3. I still could not overcome it and feeling extremely bad. Did any of you ever face this kind of situation? How did you overcome it and keep yourself in perspective?
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blackout1999



Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 121
Location: Toronto

PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:15 pm    Post subject: That ain't right Reply with quote

What's the deal, salsa people? As a helper, patience is pretty much a requirement. I don't know what happened with this partner you were dancing with so I don't want to be judgemental but nobody's perfect. I have seen some women refuse to dance with other men because they were rough and I have tried with patience to correct whatever problem it was. I would say what she did was rude and that ain't right. I would suggest letting the instructor know what happened and if it was a helper, shame on her. Once again, I don't know this person but that shouldn't have happened. Holla back at ya boy!
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blackout1999



Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 121
Location: Toronto

PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:46 pm    Post subject: One more thing Reply with quote

Just one more thing. Don't let whatever this person said to you discourage you from going to level 4 and progressing further with your salsa journey, if you will. You're still learning. In fact, never stop learning. I dare say all of the helpers are still learning new stuff, especially me. In fact, turn whatever negative vibes she gave you into something that drives you more to succeed. Holla back at ya boy!
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Salsa-in-review



Joined: 15 Oct 2006
Posts: 45
Location: Toronto

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:31 am    Post subject: Patience and resilience Reply with quote

It can be really tough for us men when learning salsa. We have a lot of responsibility to lead and watch out for what's going on around us while trying to have fun all at the same time. It is incorrect for a helper to be harsh or less than encouraging. We all have things to improve and that's why we're taking classes. I'm hoping you can see past it and not let it bother you going forward. I've a share negative experiences in the years of social dancing, but they are greatly outweighed by friendships and fun I've developed through salsa. Keep an open mind, your chin up, and don't stop dancing.

In the future, if you ever have an experience such as this one, I would calmly let the helper know how you feel, "I feel that you are being overly harsh or critical. I appreciate feedback and constructive criticism; however, you're making me feel pretty bad right now. I am hoping it was not your intention to make me feel this way, was it?" There is no need to be confrontational, yet there is nothing wrong with letting them know how you feel.

A previous dance instructor once advised to never refuse a dance from a beginning salsa dancer as you never know whether they'll become the next hot dancer down the road.


Alfred
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Sharon



Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 418

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Analytix!

I sent you a private message as well so definitely check it out but what I wanted to say to everyone is that you should always let an instructor know if you have a bad experience in class. Our goal is that you all learn in a comfortable, encouraging environment and if there is someone who doesn't support this then let an instructor know so it doesn't happen to you again or to someone else.

I had so many bad experiences learning to dance. I had men walk off the dance floor in the middle of a song, I had someone tell me to come back and dance with him when I was better, etc, etc. However, as Salsa-In-Review said, the bad experiences were far outweighed by the amazing experiences of wonderful, supportive dancers and friends and what salsa has given to me in my life.

Hopefully you don't let it get you down - the level 3 last night was amazing! We taught you all a ridiculously hard combo and everyone rose to the challenge. You should pat yourself on the back for finishing level 3 so successfully and celebrate with a night of salsa dancing!
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Toronto Dance Salsa
http://www.torontodancesalsa.ca
Toronto Salsa Lessons / Toronto Salsa Classes
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timbero1



Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 63

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

She couldn't breakdown the move to show you, so she had to prove to herself that it was you and not her that was preventing the move from coming out. That's why, she had to call someone to show off that she could do the move. She was frustrated because she didn't have enough ability as a teacher/ helper to help you. I am sure being a helper for her may be more of a status thing.
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analytix



Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Posts: 34

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:30 pm    Post subject: Feeling Low Reply with quote

Thanks everybody. All these posts – it shows how much you care! Sorry I did not mean to belittle or harm anybody. My post was in the moment of frustration. After all day work I ran for the lesson. This is usually the best moment of my day as I enjoy Sharon’s class a lot and have also started gaining more confidence in executing all the turn patterns she taught us. That’s why it was a big blow for me.

Anyway, this is not going to stop me from dancing. I have already signed up for level 4 and I love all the people in TDS too much to leave dancing which essentially means leaving the school. So it’s not going to happen in the near future.
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Kimberlita



Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 372
Location: Downtown

PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad you didn't let it discourage you to the point of quitting. I had a similar experience when I came to dance with one of the helpers when I was in L2 and he rolled his eyes at me when I lost my balance while learning the CBL with a turn.
I was so embarassed. Luckily, this helper no longer works with TDS.
Like Alfred said, try and let the helper know if he/she is making you feel uncomortable. If you're not comfortable being vocal, ALWAYS let your instructors know so that we can approach the helpers for you.

Helpers should be there to encourage, provide constructive feedback and give tips, but it should not be done in a rude or harsh manner.
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